dive


AskAbout©

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Memorial day meal
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did-you-kno:

Source
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yuupmissamerica:

flawless-trinkets:

dysenterymitchell:

fuckbitches-getpaid:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”


Reblogging for the comments~

the comments omg


i cannot be bothered lmao

hilarity